I know the pain, sadness, and hopelessness that comes from a disappointment. I used to wallow in it. Self-pity too. I experienced disappointment during my infertility years (see the book, Submersed in the Secret Sorrow of Infertility) and many times over in an abusive marriage.
Here’s an excerpt that I have written for the chapter, “The Waiting Rooms.” This comes from my book Stretch-marks, Learn to live free from worldly hurts.
I left the specialist appointments emotionally drained. At one appointment I had to have an endometrial biopsy. It felt like the Doctor had cut a large cube of flesh out of my uterus. I cramped. It hurt. And I chose to cop a cranky attitude.
Once back at home I collected the mail from our mailbox. A newsletter from Precept Ministries had arrived. That is the ministry of Kay Arthur. The letter was written about disappointment and how we can change those thoughts to His-appointment by dropping the letter D to an H and splitting the word apart. I knew God wanted me to learn this lesson. I knew! And especially after the phone rang.
Linda, a friend, and I had journeyed through the valley of infertility together. The call changed it all. She was pregnant. I knew she would be a great Mother. I thanked God that she was pregnant. I just wondered if it would ever be me.
As I wrote this chapter I discovered an old card from Linda in my prayer journals. She wrote to me back then to encourage us about God not failing us and putting aside our own desires so that we would become patient and godly. She references, 2 Peter 1:6 (NASB), “ and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness.” She also shared this passage, “He gives children to the childless wife, so that she becomes a happy mother, Hallelujah! Praise the Lord.” (Psalm 113:9, Living Bible) and she wrote, “I can’t wait to see the way the Lord works everything out for us. We just need to trust in Him and concentrate on doing His will (living in the center of his will). Even though it’s very hard sometimes.” God did work things out for us both. And it was very hard some times. Linda did give birth to two children and is a grandmother now. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord.
I continued to learn to wait and see when and where I could change out disappointments to His-appointments….years later. One by one His-appointments came into my life, my three children.
So last week, when an email from my literary agent arrived and she stated she was breaking our contract, I was disappointed. I felt the disappointment and allowed the feeling to land on my heart. A few tears trickled. I talked it out. Then I chose to push on through, by thanking God—as His appointment is a coming.
So what about you, any disappointments in your life? How do you handle them?
1. Feel the disappointment
2. Talk through what you learn about you and your reaction. Give thanks!
3. Remind yourself, His-Appointment is far better, truly is! Believe!
This is one reason why I coach women!
I clung to this passage over thirty years ago knowing God is true to His Word and He will not waste my pain.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:2-5
In what situations has God shown me His comfort…
- Years of Infertility – Classroom of Waiting.
- Adoption of my first daughter – His Divine-love Appointment
- Adoption of my second daughter – His Divine-love Appointment
- Career Chaos – God Provides
- Abusive Marriage – God’s Boot Camp
- Adoption of my son – His Divine-love Appointment
- Death of my Father, Brother – God awakens me from the land of denial
- All in 40 days – death of my Mother, Abandonment, Home Foreclosure, Served Divorce Papers—God is near to the broken hearted.
And there is more – much more – as God turns my life around to bring Him glory.
Another reason I coach women is to inspire women to become all that their Creator made them to be. God kept me alive after living in an abusive marriage for over a quarter of a century that was likened to living in solitary confinement. Yet God saw it all. For that reason I can coach women from any area in their life to another, as I have been at the bottom of the heap. God and I stepped together to go forward in life. He heals mutilated hearts to further the Kingdom work here on earth.
Are you living mentally well from a mind that is set upon the truth?
Are you living well in the financial domain of your life?
Are you living well from the spiritual center of your life?
Are you living well in the relationship domain of your life?
Are you living well from the physical domain of your life?
Are you living out your vocation?
I coach women to go back to the beginning, before our parents. God exist.
He has a plan in creating you. Still does. Press into Him for the pathway.
“And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them” (Psalms 139:16, NASB).
What is it you sense He wants you to do today?
What is stopping you?
What one baby step can you take to step out?