To keep my thoughts focused I intentionally hung an embossed wind chime right above the kitchen sink in the window. The picturesque chime portrayed a robin on a nest watching over her three blue eggs. It reminded me of my life, a Mom of three. Daily, it kept me focused, do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.
I prayed often, God, show me where my new nest will be. Your Word says, do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows, more valuable, hmmm, I thought. Alright God, you provide twigs, grass, and hair for the birds to build their nests. Provide please what I need for my nest, after all I am more valuable than the birds. I prayed for a safe, small, clean and affordable nest.
God had already proved Himself over and over in my life. Facing drastic changes like losing my father, brother, and mother all hurt deeply. Plus, He was healing me of my emotional pain from the abuse. My life was in transformation mode. God revealed my life purpose to me and I anticipated His lead to where I was to live.
I heard of two rental houses. I checked them out. When I left each, fear had mounted. There had to be another route.
Do you believe you are more valuable than a sparrow?
Do you believe you are more valuable than many sparrows?
“So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows,” (Matthew 10:31, NASB).
“I am bored.”
Recently, I met up with a woman that I had coached several years ago. We met at a cute little bakery. We chatted over the many proactive steps she has taken since our last time together. She is a woman that is calm, at peace, and secure.
To the table left of us sat a group of women, senior ladies, having their coffee chat. They ate. Then exited.
Next came in a lady alone. She sat down. Ate. Got up and said to the lady next to her, “I am bored.” She appeared physical fit, gray haired, maybe late 60’s and yet, so so aimless.
I hurt for her. I wanted to reach out to her, grab her, and tell her there is more to life then waiting to die. After all it’s written on your heart. It maybe buried within, but it is there, your purpose and one so full of passion. Let’s uncover your life purpose through you sharing me your stories of your life and we will discover it together. I will ask you questions. This will allow you to hear and put together the pieces of your long lost love (passion) and what makes your heart sing: like helping kids, taking pictures, speaking to senior citizens on health care, or maybe playing the piano for shut-ins. Once you discover your life purpose, your days will be filled up and brimming with you being involved with the people group you want to help and long to be near.
Your feet will swing out of bed as you take on the day to see these individuals that cause your heart to skip. Let’s get started to change up your life and make it count to the end.
So what about you, do you say you are bored? Are you waiting to die?
Let us say this woman that is bored is about 66 years of age. What if she lives another 20 years? Can you imagine being bored for that many more years? She is choosing to live a life of purposelessness with no zest. How sad!
So what step do you need to take on your road of life?
Do you long to bounce out of bed to a day that is filled with drive, adventure, and joy? Do you long for clarity, passion, and purpose?
I recall not wanting to get out of bed. I felt like this woman, who cares, what difference does it make? I know abuse. I hurt so bad and was so waited down, as if a suitcase sat on my chest. Yet, I knew there had to be more to life than what I was told about myself. (Someone else was controlling my life by the words they pinned to me, about me.) The sad thing is, I was allowing those words to stick to me.
I needed to let them fall to the ground and I needed to learn the Truth and reframe my mind. It took me many steps to get my life turned around. BUT God!! He loves to right a wrong.
Will you choose to let the lies fall off of you from abuse?
Who can you change?
What lie are you willing to discard today?
My Pastor recently used a visual illustration in his sermon that was so simple, spot on, and spoke directly to me about what life coaching offers to women, especially the results. I’ll tie in the visual message down in a few paragraphs.
A few years ago I spoke at a retreat and had an “aha” moment right up front. (That does happen! God teaches me at the same time.) If you have been in my audiences you know I do quick surveys of women especially with my talk called “Your Life Matters.” I want the audiences’ input. From their answers at this particular retreat, I learned that women wanted healing in the emotional area of their life. In the big picture I saw their need. So how does a woman get healing in the emotional need of her life?
We do life daily out of seven domains. Domains are areas of our life, like kingdoms, province, realms, or spheres of our life. We are in control of each domain. These seven domains are spiritual, mental, emotional, financial, physical, relational, and vocational.
The majority of women at this retreat rated the emotional domain as in the top three that they needed to address. They also wanted help in the spiritual and relationship domain. However, and a BIG however, the mental domain, meaning their thought life, was not in the top three. I knew right then what I needed to teach.
In order for them to have their emotional area of their life healthier and healed, they must start with the spiritual and mental domains. See, the Bible says that the truth will set us free.
Let’s say we allow our emotions to dictate our day: I don’t feel well, I am tired, I am lonely, I do not feel like anyone cares about me, I don’t have anything to offer, I am sad, I am depressed, I am too old, I am anxious, I am hopeless, I can’t do that, I am not good enough, and they don’t care about me so why should I. On and on we could make a list of our feelings.
And if one of these phrases is controlling your life, may this newsletter dynamite you to take a healthy action step. Feelings are not always bad. God gave us feelings. But, they are not meant to control and dominate our days.
Here is the illustration my Pastor used. Maybe you want to grab a sheet of paper and draw this. Draw three train cars attached to one another. The first car can be the engine of the train. Then a second box car and a third box car. Ready?
On the first car of the engine, write God’s Word. The Word fuels us, as it is the Truth. It is alive and active. Let me speak the Truth into you right now. You were created in God’s image. He loves you. He died for you. He cares for you. He wants a personal relationship with you. He has a plan with your life. He has gifted you. He can use your pain and discomforts for His good if you allow Him. He knows the color of your eyes, what you are thinking, and how many strands of hair you have, and on and on I could go. I have verses to back each of these up. We soak and saturate our mind with the Word, the truth. It transforms our life, as long as we allow it to take ahold and saturate our thinking into action.
On to the second train car, write, FAITH. “It is impossible to please God without faith” Hebrews 11:6. Also the Bible says, “Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, even by itself” James 2:17. Our faith and what we believe will require us to take steps. Faith acts.
Now to the 3rd train car, feelings. That is right. Our feelings come last. Instead of saying, I am sad all the time, I have no joy, I am depressed, I can’t, and I am too old, we shift and have our feelings BOW down to the first train car, the Truth, the WORD of GOD!
1. The engine of our mind is fueled by the Word. That transforms our mental state.
2. Then we step out in Faith and change up our life taking steps of Truth to where we sense God wants us to step.
3. Steps one and two will impact our emotional state. But, it all begins with one baby step.
Here is an example…
Yes, I, Darlene was harried, hurting and hungry, for more of life. I was tired of living in emotional pain and despondency. I got tired of saying, I cannot. I believed God had a purposeful plan for my life and even at midlife. I stated over and over, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13. I stated the Truth and then I stepped out by faith.
Yes, I was very sad. I hurt emotionally. I was stuck. But, the truth is I loved to be with women, teach, speak, coach, and encourage women in the Word. That is my passion. It drives me. So what or how could God use all of that? I headed to coach training and even when I did not know how God was going to pull this all together. We act through Faith and it requires risks.
Next, I had allowed grief to almost consume me. But, who could I help? WOMEN! Yes, I was beaten down mentally, emotionally, relationally, and financially. I did not have JOY.
He rekindled and resurrected the joy of the Lord because I chose to have my life fueled by the Word of God (car train # 1) which transformed my mind, the Truth set me free, and I stepped towards my calling in passion and in vision (FAITH- train car #2) with clarity and focus in spite of fear. (Train car # 3 occurred in my life, JOY, satisfaction, adventure,) and in service with healthy emotions. I marched right towards fear and still am marching.
So what is your emotional state?
What is your first action step towards a life of purpose?
Your life matters.
Are you trapped in lies because a narcissistic individual beat you down in abuse?
1. Take action. Do not allow him or her to control you any longer. As long as you do nothing, he or she takes over your life. It starts with a baby step. Be coached to close the gap to where you are today to where you want to be in one year. What do you want to be doing in one year?
2. How will you get there? Darlene will coach you and hold you accountable to take the steps.
3. The truth will set you free. Darlene knows the Truth and knows what narcissism does to a person.
We have one chance here on earth to be our self.
I mean those that leave your head spinning and you ask yourself, What did they say?
Their words stick to you. Blame you. Accuse you. Confuse you. You leave their presence really frustrated, angry, and practicing your next conversation with them in your head. Preparing for a heated battle.
The kicker is, you spend hours of your thought life allowing them to control your day.
So are you ready to change your reaction to Crazy Makers?
I am an expert in this area. I know crazy makers well. I clocked hours of being in the front
roll lab of life studying a crazy makers behavior. Now, to help others!
Even though I lived in abuse for over two decades…I still know the cycle that women get stuck and sucked into.
Let’s set up a plan to make 2016 a year
FULL of turning points for you!
From chaos to focus.
From purposelessness to purpose.
From hopelessness to a future.
From anger to love…it can be done.
One step at a time.
“just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world…”
Ephesians 1:4a (NASB)
Remember the childhood game, “Red rover, red rover, send Annie right on over?” Your name is shouted out, called out, and chosen by the opposite team. Blood rushed through your veins as you made a mad dash to the other side to break through their linked arms to capture a player. You grabbed the opposing team member and took them back to your side as the conquering victor. You had been “chosen” to play a role.
Women long to know they were chosen, desired, and invited.
“Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world…” Ephesians 1:4a (NASB).
Can you receive this Truth deep into your heart chambers?
You are chosen by almighty God.
A long time ago the Lord Himself had His designer eye on you. He thought of you, formed you, and desired you to have an intimate relationship with Himself, “just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world…” Ephesians 1:4a (NASB).
You are a chosen daughter of the King. This heart shift is bedrock in allowing you to learn to leave the grinding gears of insecurity behind. Receiving this Truth is like pouring liquid love cement down into your inner being, creating a solid rock foundation at your feet of “chosen” stability. Once a woman receives the truth deep within, He chose me, she is cemented into His everlasting security. Then when she is not asked out for a date, a worship team spot, a speaking engagement, a job, an adoption placement, a best friend spot, an invitation to a party, a Bible study invitation, or a loved one exits her life, she is not totally devastated and thrown into the arms of insecurity.
Take a bubble bath, soak, and saturate in this Truth, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world. You are hand-picked, cherry-picked, selected, chosen, and preferred, indeed.
• Have you accepted, you are chosen by Jesus?
• What difference can you visualize in your life if you own this truth?
Shift to speak this aloud, “I am chosen.”
“Enable, me, Lord, to shift from—insecurity to I am chosen. I am a daughter of the King. Thank you, Lord. Amen.”
He picked me.
Take action, only you can control your thoughts!
Join a Coaching Group today and
change out a cluttered mind for clarity, anxiety for focus, fear for freedom, and apathy for purpose;
start soaring with a growth mind set
instead of a set mind set.
Groups range from 2-6 women.
Here is how it works.
1. The topic this month is Learn How to Grow Pearls of Wisdom with your thought life.
2. A content topic coaching group, “Reframing the mind.”
3. Takes place over a conference line. Time slots to fit your schedule.
4. Three hourly coaching sessions sprinkled out over three weeks.
5. Audio recording will be sent after each call to clients.
6. An e-booklet is sent at the end of the 3rd session.
7. So easy! Sign up, pay $95.00 for three hours of group coaching, teaching, and verses that will feed you the Truth including an e-booklet.
8. Or – form your own group and grab a girlfriend for only $85.00 each.
9. Email Darlene to save your spot.
Learn How to Grow Pearls of Wisdom
10 Life Changing Steps
to Grow Wisdom –
Reframing your mind
Three Steps to Motivate Yourself!
Take a recess for YOU, contact Darlene for the conference call number.
Three Steps to Motivate Yourself for the New Year!
1. Name what it is that you do not want to repeat from your past years. Only one thing!
(For example, it may be living in self-pity, chaos, sadness, criticalness, purposelessness, out of balance living, a meaningless job, fear, or you name one.)
2. Ask yourself, what is it that you want instead?
3. So what truth, verse of truth, will empower you to bust through the self-defeating answer of number one that you named.
(For example, for me, I was stuck in fear for so many years. It kept me paralyzed from speaking truth about my life and the pain from what I lived in. I chose this verse in order to begin to step towards what was stopping me. One baby step at a time, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” II Timothy 1:7. I repeatedly stated this verse aloud and went towards what caused me to fear.
I have coached women that were stuck in fear. A few women did not shop for clothing, drive a car to the city, and or shop alone. It brought us a great joy as the women stepped out of their self-protected box and drove, shopped, and ventured towards a purposeful living.
How long will you allow your answer from number one control your life?
What is holding you back from what God offers?
How will you choose to close the gap?