My Pastor recently used a visual illustration in his sermon that was so simple, spot on, and spoke directly to me about what life coaching offers to women, especially the results. I’ll tie in the visual message down in a few paragraphs.
A few years ago I spoke at a retreat and had an “aha” moment right up front. (That does happen! God teaches me at the same time.) If you have been in my audiences you know I do quick surveys of women especially with my talk called “Your Life Matters.” I want the audiences’ input. From their answers at this particular retreat, I learned that women wanted healing in the emotional area of their life. In the big picture I saw their need. So how does a woman get healing in the emotional need of her life?
We do life daily out of seven domains. Domains are areas of our life, like kingdoms, province, realms, or spheres of our life. We are in control of each domain. These seven domains are spiritual, mental, emotional, financial, physical, relational, and vocational.
The majority of women at this retreat rated the emotional domain as in the top three that they needed to address. They also wanted help in the spiritual and relationship domain. However, and a BIG however, the mental domain, meaning their thought life, was not in the top three. I knew right then what I needed to teach.
In order for them to have their emotional area of their life healthier and healed, they must start with the spiritual and mental domains. See, the Bible says that the truth will set us free.
Let’s say we allow our emotions to dictate our day: I don’t feel well, I am tired, I am lonely, I do not feel like anyone cares about me, I don’t have anything to offer, I am sad, I am depressed, I am too old, I am anxious, I am hopeless, I can’t do that, I am not good enough, and they don’t care about me so why should I. On and on we could make a list of our feelings.
And if one of these phrases is controlling your life, may this newsletter dynamite you to take a healthy action step. Feelings are not always bad. God gave us feelings. But, they are not meant to control and dominate our days.
Here is the illustration my Pastor used. Maybe you want to grab a sheet of paper and draw this. Draw three train cars attached to one another. The first car can be the engine of the train. Then a second box car and a third box car. Ready?
On the first car of the engine, write God’s Word. The Word fuels us, as it is the Truth. It is alive and active. Let me speak the Truth into you right now. You were created in God’s image. He loves you. He died for you. He cares for you. He wants a personal relationship with you. He has a plan with your life. He has gifted you. He can use your pain and discomforts for His good if you allow Him. He knows the color of your eyes, what you are thinking, and how many strands of hair you have, and on and on I could go. I have verses to back each of these up. We soak and saturate our mind with the Word, the truth. It transforms our life, as long as we allow it to take ahold and saturate our thinking into action.
On to the second train car, write, FAITH. “It is impossible to please God without faith” Hebrews 11:6. Also the Bible says, “Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, even by itself” James 2:17. Our faith and what we believe will require us to take steps. Faith acts.
Now to the 3rd train car, feelings. That is right. Our feelings come last. Instead of saying, I am sad all the time, I have no joy, I am depressed, I can’t, and I am too old, we shift and have our feelings BOW down to the first train car, the Truth, the WORD of GOD!
1. The engine of our mind is fueled by the Word. That transforms our mental state.
2. Then we step out in Faith and change up our life taking steps of Truth to where we sense God wants us to step.
3. Steps one and two will impact our emotional state. But, it all begins with one baby step.
Here is an example…
Yes, I, Darlene was harried, hurting and hungry, for more of life. I was tired of living in emotional pain and despondency. I got tired of saying, I cannot. I believed God had a purposeful plan for my life and even at midlife. I stated over and over, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13. I stated the Truth and then I stepped out by faith.
Yes, I was very sad. I hurt emotionally. I was stuck. But, the truth is I loved to be with women, teach, speak, coach, and encourage women in the Word. That is my passion. It drives me. So what or how could God use all of that? I headed to coach training and even when I did not know how God was going to pull this all together. We act through Faith and it requires risks.
Next, I had allowed grief to almost consume me. But, who could I help? WOMEN! Yes, I was beaten down mentally, emotionally, relationally, and financially. I did not have JOY.
He rekindled and resurrected the joy of the Lord because I chose to have my life fueled by the Word of God (car train # 1) which transformed my mind, the Truth set me free, and I stepped towards my calling in passion and in vision (FAITH- train car #2) with clarity and focus in spite of fear. (Train car # 3 occurred in my life, JOY, satisfaction, adventure,) and in service with healthy emotions. I marched right towards fear and still am marching.
So what is your emotional state?
What is your first action step towards a life of purpose?
I mean those that leave your head spinning and you ask yourself, What did they say?
Their words stick to you. Blame you. Accuse you. Confuse you. You leave their presence really frustrated, angry, and practicing your next conversation with them in your head. Preparing for a heated battle.
The kicker is, you spend hours of your thought life allowing them to control your day.
So are you ready to change your reaction to Crazy Makers?
I am an expert in this area. I know crazy makers well. I clocked hours of being in the front
roll lab of life studying a crazy makers behavior. Now, to help others!
Even though I lived in abuse for over two decades…I still know the cycle that women get stuck and sucked into.
Let’s set up a plan to make 2016 a year
FULL of turning points for you!
From chaos to focus.
From purposelessness to purpose.
From hopelessness to a future.
From anger to love…it can be done.
One step at a time.
Funerals have changed my life!
Today, I attended a funeral of a cousin who passed unexpectedly and at a young age. The funeral home was packed with standing room only. The message delivered was real, honest, and the Truth was shared. Whimpers and sobs from deep pain and noses being blown were seen and heard. The procession of cars was long to the cemetery and the temperatures of 15 degrees made it worse.
Ten years ago, I stood at a cemetery burying my youngest brother who was 40. The pain from His death cut deep. It jolted me out from the land of denial. “Pay attention to your purpose, Darlene, get stepping forward.” And that is why I do what I do with coaching women towards their life purpose.
I died in many ways “internally” when my brother died. I surrendered my life then. Faced forward and walked out steps that led to exposing lies and living out the Truth. Funerals can be used for good, if you allow the pain to speak.
And the wonderful news about my cousin, I will see him again, as He surrendered His life to the Lord of Lords in the hospital before he died. He was given new life.
Three Steps to Motivate Yourself!
Take a recess for YOU, contact Darlene for the conference call number.
Three Steps to Motivate Yourself for the New Year!
1. Name what it is that you do not want to repeat from your past years. Only one thing!
(For example, it may be living in self-pity, chaos, sadness, criticalness, purposelessness, out of balance living, a meaningless job, fear, or you name one.)
2. Ask yourself, what is it that you want instead?
3. So what truth, verse of truth, will empower you to bust through the self-defeating answer of number one that you named.
(For example, for me, I was stuck in fear for so many years. It kept me paralyzed from speaking truth about my life and the pain from what I lived in. I chose this verse in order to begin to step towards what was stopping me. One baby step at a time, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” II Timothy 1:7. I repeatedly stated this verse aloud and went towards what caused me to fear.
I have coached women that were stuck in fear. A few women did not shop for clothing, drive a car to the city, and or shop alone. It brought us a great joy as the women stepped out of their self-protected box and drove, shopped, and ventured towards a purposeful living.
How long will you allow your answer from number one control your life?
What is holding you back from what God offers?
How will you choose to close the gap?
I have sorted drawers, reorganized books, thrown out excess paper, tightened up files, and pitched scraps of paper.
My desk is clutter free. My files are lined up. My books are in order and now I can place my fingers on a book that I may need.
I am ready to hit the ground running in the New Year with writing, coaching, teaching, and speaking!
But, before I shift us into 2016, I want to take a few seconds and reflect with you on what God did in my life in 2015. If you have not done this in your life, I suggest you take an hour break and pen some of your own life giving praises!
Psalm 145 sums it up well with how far God has brought me in step to His Truth.
Years back I was abandoned, in deep internal pain, penniless, and wondering how in the world God was going to turn my life around. Notice that word, HOW. It is best I let go of that word, as only God knows “the how.” He is faithful and He will restore a life, and indeed of one who loves Him.
Reflect with me on verses 14-21,
The Lord sustains all who fall, And raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to You, And You give them their food in due time. You open Your hand, And satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The Lord is righteous in all His ways, And kind in all His deeds. The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He will also hear their cry and will save them. The Lord keeps all who love Him, But all the wicked He will destroy. My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord, And all flesh will bless His holy name forever and ever.
Dear friend, Jesus sustained me, led me, healed me, and kept me near Him. He still does today!
I was able to be with my daughter, Merrily, on her wedding day to Jon, a great guy!
He provided a vehicle for me.
He is a God of order and not chaos.
God allowed me to grow with friendships with women. I spoke at retreats over the year!
What will you do to reflect on all He has done for you in 2015?
Merry Christmas from my home to yours!
When I think back over 2015, I am amazed at all that God has done in my life. It makes me think of sharing good news!
Yet at this time of year, I think of “the good news of great joy” expressed in the verses of Luke 2:10-11, when the angel speaks to the shepherds in the field near the town of Bethlehem, “But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” The angel had some mighty good news to share. Jesus, the little babe in the manager, was to be their provider of life, their Savior, their Way, their gift for life everlasting. And the good news, He is still for every man, woman, and child today.
Invite Him in, if you have never done so, receive Him, to be your Lord of Lords and King of Kings, your Savior. He offers a life here on earth and forever with Him.
My good news is not as grand as the angels, but it is worth recognizing the GIVER and giving Him praise. I thank God for what He has done in my life over 2015! Let me share with you a piece of what I wrote on for Hearts with a Purpose Newsletter in July.
A few days prior to the New Year (2015) I sensed God was pressing this verse upon me, “Behold, the former things have come to pass, now I declare new things; Before they spring forth I proclaim them to you.” Isaiah 42:9. I wondered what new things God was planning for me. I was expecting and anticipating changes with my business, Hearts with a Purpose. I knew a new website was on the list. I knew I needed a newer vehicle. I had prayed and had been saving and planning to purchase one by May of 2015. That was my plan. My way to keep saving money was having an extra job on weekends. I worked at the front desk at a local Inn. I loved the outreach to people, but the job was draining me. So my plans were to exit the job in May of 2015.
God being God, He knows how to change things up according to His plan for our lives. So I found myself a little perplexed on January 1, 2015, when I sensed God was nudging me to leave the Inn. I did whine and fuss on this one, yet I sensed God was pushing me out the Inn door for my benefit. I chose to heed the nudge and leave that position on New Year’s Day. My thoughts tumbled wondering how my newer vehicle was going to occur. Yet God already knew the “how to” in providing my car need. My coaching business grew!!
Then God chose to change up my life and expand my family with a son-in-love, Jon, in March. I flew out to Colorado to participate and be with my daughter, Merrily, on her wedding day. Meanwhile, I still wondered about that newer vehicle and prayed.
And then God had another major change up occur in my life. A man named Bill and I had a walk and a talk. We had met over two years ago at church. We had several conversations sprinkled out over time and I always enjoyed our talks. We both knew then a friendship had been formed.
We both have journeyed through several similar grief areas. Thankfully, we allowed God to meet us in the pain and heal our hearts. Bill proposed in July. We were married on September 12th. We rejoice in what God has allowed in bringing us together to glorify Him.
Let me close with more of the story. About that newer vehicle, remember? Bill just so happens to be an expert with vehicles. In April he asked me what type of car I was looking for. I expressed my desires and budgeted amount. Bill went on the hunt and found my wheels.
And to think when I began to pray for my car in January, never did I expect a man to come with it? Yet, I am ever so thankful that God overrode my plans. “The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps” (Proverbs 16:9, NASB). And I am ever thankful that God allowed Bill and my paths to cross.
We both continue to work in our own business. Serve in our ministry areas. Watch God answer our prayers. Engage, visit, love, and pray for our children and grandchildren.
Indeed, God is the healer and restorer of the heart. He promises to those that love Him to work all things out together for their good. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
How about you, are you living your life on purpose?
Will you believe His Word that He has a plan for your life?
Is your heart singing in your daily work?
If not, what’s stopping you from being coached towards your life purpose?
From a woman’s soul, through a woman’s eyes, by a woman’s hands.
As I sit in my home office typing this blog the song NOEL is streaming through the house. Tis time to play Christmas carols! I ponder what could I share to encourage my readers this Christmas season. I know holidays are far from happy and merry for all. Psalm 139 from the Message paraphrase comes to mind. No matter your past experiences, current circumstances, or your future, God sees you, knows you, and understands you, and is for YOU! I challenge you to read this Psalm aloud, and allow the Truth to soak into your heart.
God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you; even from a distance,
you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too-
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful-
I can’t take it all in! Is there any place I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
If I go underground, you’re there! If I flew on morning’s wings
to the far western horizon, You’d find me in a minute-
you’re already there waiting! Then I said to myself,
At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God-you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration-what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day. Your thoughts-how rare,
God, I’ll never comprehend them!
I couldn’t even begin to count them-
any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you! And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
all the men and women who belittle you, God,
infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
See how I hate those who hate you, God,
see how I loathe all this godless arrogance;
I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.
Your enemies are my enemies! Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong then guide me on the road to eternal life.
Receive the truth, Jesus cares! BELIEVE! Merry Christmas!
This photo was the beginning! I was Harried, Hurting, and HUNGRY for more clarity and direction of my life PURPOSE!
I devoured this book and then began taking more steps. Next I became a Professional Certified Life Coach for women. And I offer high content coaching groups for women.
Invest in yourself! Register for a class – taught by a
Certified Life Purpose Coach®
Pathway to Purpose for Women
You will learn how to:
Connect your to-do list, your passions,
And God’s purposes for your life.
Normally a $195.00 course
Sign up by the end of the year and pay $175.00.
Sign up with a girlfriend and each pay by the end of the year $150.00
Fee includes worksheets and 6 weeks of 90 minute instruction and coaching, PLUS, 6 private coaching emails.
When: Monday, January 11th, 18th, 25th, Feb 1st, 8th, 15th 7:00p.m.-8:30p.m.
Where: Greenville, MI, or connect on a conference line
Purchase the book, Pathway to Purpose for Women, by Dr. Katie Brazelton, get reading!
Contact: Darlene Larson
Life Purpose Coach® for Women & Grief-Loss and Recovery Coach,
Instructor of Coaches