I’ve been there. Stuck that is, and it was SO uncomfortable.
Be aware, fear is a weapon used by controllers, abusers, and narcissists. They love power and control. If they can create and breed an atmosphere of unknowns and uncertainties, well that keeps everyone on edge and fearful. They win. They’re in the power seat. They have information in the know and control. And you are clueless.
So I became the Queen of Fear back then.
Here is a short list of a few of my fears from years past:
- I was fearful, if I told my secret, no one would believe me.
- I was fearful, if I told my secret, I could lose everything.
- I was fearful, if I told my secret, what people would say.
- I was fearful, if I told my secret, what people would think.
- I was fearful, if I told my secret, of the financial fall out.
- I was fearful, if I told my secret, of losing my teens.
- I was fearful, if I told my secret, of making it on my own.
- I was fearful, if I told my secret, what he would do to me.
- Yet the pain only grew by not voicing the truth. And then, I lost my youngest brother to a heart attack. My heart was slit open by grief. BUT, the secret from the abuse clawed and screamed in and at me to escape.
- My brother’s voice had been silenced not by his choice. But my voice had been silenced by my choice, fear. It was time to reclaim my voice!
- Email for a FREE coaching worksheet on FEAR! Email for FREE coaching worksheet!
And, or, Email Darlene! to schedule 5 one hour coaching sessions on fear and receive Enable me, Lord, to Shift, are you stuck in idle? Learn how to shift into truth and live, book #1 FREE!!! READ book info!I will mail it to you!
So how did I face my fears? How do you face yours?
- One fear by one. How long can you live in the fear like you are?
- The verse I used in battle was, “ For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7, KJV).
- I took this verse and went to work when fear wanted to chat with me.
- I said the verse aloud. We are to fear GOD not man!
- Refuse to obey your fear. I walked toward counseling and coaching.
- Step doing it afraid. I worked hard on my passion, Hearts with a Purpose. Be coached to discover your purpose.
- Go toward the fear. Walk right into the arms of fear and watch fear fall down. Apply for a job, tell your secret, ask a friend out.
- Face your fear. Fear is stories we tell ourselves. Instead tell yourself the Truth, God did not create fear. I have a brain. I have a purpose. I have a calling.
- Courage is stepping toward the fear. I flew out to CA and got my coach training. I exposed my story. I went through hours and years of therapy and let me tell you, that has made me a better coach.
- God is Bigger than my fear. AMEN! Power. Love. Sound-mind. Love to hear your story. Email Live fear free, email!
What is the first fear you can step toward?
It’s carved in barks of trees, on rings, and from the time we’re little girls we hunger for it. Women want to know it. See it. Feel it. Believe it. Own it. That they’re loved well, and men desire it too.
The issue is that women tend to believe this love factor will come from a man or a girlfriend relationship. Then they’ll be fine and filled by another person’s love. This is a problem though.
We’re all human beings, sinners, broken and depleted. Our love runs out. It’s fickle. Sometimes it’s fuzzy and fizzles. You know, you hear, I fell out of love, divorce him or her, be done, and move on. Think again.
I coach and teach women until a person gets tanked up by God’s everlasting free love gift, the Creator of love, the Source of Love. He/she will run out of love. We must be tapped into Him to receive love, feel love, and be filled in love. Then we can give it away.
But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him (Psalm 103:17a, NASB)
And God’s love never runs out to those that fear Him and give Him their hearts.
But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him. Don’t miss the ending of the verse, on those who fear Him.
Do you fear God?
Do you know God’s kind of love?
Do you sense His wholeness of love flowing through you and for you? You can. His love cements your being together. Solid. Secure. That’s His motive of operation, to love you. Sure and steady.
But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him (Psalm 103:17a, NASB). You are loved by a Triune God who made you.
♥ Who did you look to for love?
♥ Can you ask Jesus, instead, to fill you up to His overflowing love?
♥ Who do you want to love with God’s love flowing through you?
Enable me, Lord, to Shift—from believing love runs out … to your love that is everlasting. This devotional comes from my second book of the Shift Series. Enable me, Lord, to Shift, are you stuck in idle? Learn how to shift into Truth and live! Book 2, mental domain book! It’ll be for sale on Amazon by the end of Feb.
Do you want to feel loved?
Try coaching to engage your heart to feel love! Email Darlene!
Purchase book one, Purchase book!
Sick and tired of the second guessing?
I hit that wall years back! I hated second guessing enough to walk out of it and change up to the Truth!
Now I coach women from it. This week two coaching clients said, “I second guess myself way too much.”
A bit of this story is in my first book of the Enable me, Lord, to Shift series!
Enable me, Lord, to shift—from my ways
to obey your commands.
I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes. I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands. (Psalm 119:59-60 NIV)
I sat on the plane in Orange County, California. Doubts, fears, and second-guessing scrambled me. Why get off the plane? Only three people in CA know I’m coming to be trained as a Life Purpose Coach® for Women. I haven’t met one. I won’t be missed. Wouldn’t it be easier to stay on the plane and travel around the US?
Second guessing causes us TIME. Wasted time! And often fear comes running in!
I was in the land of the in-between. God had called me out from teaching children to now coach, teach, speak, and write on behalf of women’s needs. Coach training fit the call. Yet, I was clueless as to how God was going to unfold this package of purpose. And that word, how, kept causing me to pause. But I knew I wasn’t turning back to teach children, I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes. I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands.
My life purpose of coaching women was my aim and my reason to keep getting me out of bed each morning and keep me alive. Viktor Frankl writes in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, about the horrific life in a Nazi concentration camp. He refers to the prisoners, Whenever there was an opportunity for it, one had to give them a why–an aim—for their lives, in order to strengthen them to bear the terrible how of their existence. Woe to him who saw no more sense in his life, no aim, no purpose, and therefore no pain in carrying on.
My terrible existence or how wasn’t in a Nazi concentration camp. But I was a prisoner living in solitary confinement in an emotionally toxic environment.
- Daily no acknowledgement
- Daily no conversation
- Daily no affirmation
- Daily no attention
- Delete Darlene
- Twin fears of, would anyone believe me and their response caused me to keep my mouth shut. Yet God is a God of Truth. And my brother’s early death jolted me.
Allan’s’ voice was silenced and not by his choice. But my voice had been silenced and by my choice—fear.
- Do you live in a terrible how existence, if so, name it?
- Do you second guess yourself?
- What is it you want more so than the second guessing?
Join me starting Monday night, the 19th for group coaching, Read more!
Frankl, Viktor E. Man’s Search for Meaning. Beacon Press, 2006. P. 76.
I am thankful and thrilled to be featured over at Jubilee Writer today, the blog of Cindy Huff!
Cindy is my accountability partner for my writing journey!
Here is what I learned in my last lap of crossing over the finish line of Indie Publishing!
Purchase Enable me, Lord, to Shift, are you stuck in idle? Learn how to shift into Truth and live! Purchase!
How do I love myself?
Start with the Truth!
You are chosen!
Taken from book one!
Purchase here… BUY!
… just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world…
(Ephesians 1:4a NASB)
Remember the childhood game, “Red Rover, Red Rover, send Annie right on over?” Your name is shouted out, called out, desired, needed, and chosen from the opposite team. Blood rushed through your veins as you made a mad dash to the other side to break through their linked arms in order to capture a player. You grabbed the opposing team member and took them back to your side as the conquering victor. It was a “chosen” moment.
More than a childhood “chosen” moment is when a woman allows the Truth into the core of her being. She is a chosen daughter of the King of Kings. Receiving this one Truth is like pouring love cement down into her foundation creating a solid rock of stability.
Before He created the universe, the Lord Himself had His designer eye on you. He thought of you. And chose you to be in an intimate relationship with Himself, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world. He formed you. Can you receive this Truth right into your heart? This heart shift is bedrock to getting away from grinding the gears of insecurity.
Whether it means getting picked for a worship team spot, a speaking engagement, landing a job, an adoption placement, a date, a girlfriend relationship, an invitation to a party, a coffee date, or a Bible study, women long to know they were chosen, desired, and invited. However, once you receive the Truth deep within, He chose you, you will not be gripped by the hands of insecurity. Instead, you are cemented into His everlasting security.
Try taking a bubble bath and soak and saturate in this one Truth, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world. I am hand-picked, cherry-picked, selected, chosen, and preferred, indeed. Would it not make a difference? Try it!
© Have you accepted, you are chosen by Jesus?
© When will you receive the Truth?
He picked me. Do you want to love yourself? Purchase 5 sessions of life coaching on the topic, by Feb.14th and receive my 1st book to the Shift series FREE! Email Darlene!
Be Wise. Build your life around wise people, not fools.
Based on Psalm 1:1 “How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!”
So in a nutshell. Guard your heart!
- Don’t walk with them.
- Don’t stand in their pathway
- Don’t sit with them. Bottom line don’t get tangled up with them as it will be a twisted relationship with the darkness sucking life out of the light!
How do you know if they are toxic or a fool? Here are a few red flags to watch out for. Watch for consistency.
- A toxic person trust in him or herself.
- A toxic person prefers no accountability.
- A toxic person despises wisdom
- A toxic person loves to talk and not listen
- A toxic person is quarrelsome and/or loves to debate. You can’t tell them a thing or two.
- A toxic person is arrogant and rages…this can look different.
- A toxic person loves to flatter.
- A toxic person loves power/control. That is their love!
- A toxic person loves to talk yet it does not match their walk. Say one thing do another!
- A toxic person is deceptive and manipulative…so why would you want to do life with them?
Guard your heart. Psalm 1:2 “But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night.”
Do you need discernment to know if the person you are dealing with is toxic or not?
Do you need to know how to thrive again after married to a toxic person?
Contact Darlene Contact!
This devotional is in book #2 of the Enable me, Lord, to Shift books, coming in Feb. 2018!
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
(II Timothy 1:7, KJV)
What does fear do to our bodies? I came upon this verse, “Men’s hearts failing them for fear…” Luke 21:26. It caused me to pause; especially after reading medical reports stating fear can lead to heart attacks and then with my family genes!
Within a frame of three years I lost my father and youngest brother to heart attacks, and another brother underwent a triple bypass. I visited my cardiologist for a checkup and was told, “My plumbing side of my heart looked good; yet, the electrical side wasn’t beating in sync.” He recommended medicine and a heart ablation. I didn’t have peace with either suggestion.
Fear was all over the chambers of my heart knocking me down, robbing me of joy, peace, purpose, focus, and forward living. Even though I lived in a fear-breeding atmosphere I was determined to shrink fear out of my life. So when fear came knocking, I purposely chose this verse to wage war against fear, For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. I made a decision not to open the door to fear and allow it to march in, sit down, and start a conversation. I stayed alert and was proactive.
Three years later I visited my cardiologist for a round of tests. Pleasantly surprised the Doctor told me my heart was beating at a normal rhythm. I knew who healed my heart beats, through His power, love, and choosing to keep a sound mind.
Only God knew the inner heart workings of my father and brother. For me fear had been a tag-along way too long. God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
- Where does fear attack your body? Headaches? Stomach issues? Back aches? Sleepless nights?
- What fear do you choose to shrink? Name it.
- What action step can you implement to face a fear?
- Purchase five sessions of life coaching on the topic of fear, by Jan. 31st and and receive my first book FREE! Email Email Darlene! to set up your coaching appointments!
Are you stuck in life?
Virtual Growth Group
Enable me, Lord, to Shift
1.Join a community of women
2. Led by author, coach, speaker, teacher, Darlene! Contact!
4. For only $97.00!Be coached to apply the Word to your life! And taught!
Discover more of you and all that God has for you! Call in and join, Feb. 19th, 26th, March 5th. & 12th 7:00- 8:00 EST!
JOIN… Enable me, Lord, to Shift, are you stuck in idle? Learn how to shift into Truth and live! Plus, be taught verse by verse during the 4- one hour classes.
Are you sick enough of being stuck to take action? EMAIL to save a spot!
Why did I write a series of 31 day devotionals for women?
It’s short and simple. This is how I survived and did life for over twenty five years while living in an environment of chaos, confusion, and change ups. A Crazy Maker powered up and over anything I had to say.
I had no control of what I lived in except me and my reactions.
And that is when God and I went to work.
There came a day I put my hand on my Bible and said, “You are either the Truth or you are not, and I will find out.” My life hung on God being real.
So how do you step forward?
By learning to build a truth list. Yes, begin by adding truth to your life to let go of the lies you believe. That is why I wrote this series. Women in abuse have so much coming at them that they do not know where to begin. It is rather basic.
One verse a day. One truth a day. One small step is how you shift. When we step in small steps we are heading toward the BIG goal.
So what is your first step of action?
What verse can you sow to your heart today?
Enable me, Lord, to Shift Purchase book!
Email Darlene! for coaching or for speaking at an event.
Is it possible to confront without fear? Yes, it is.
Is it possible to confront in love? Yes, it is.
Is it possible to tell the truth, even though it might hurt someone, yet do it with kindness? Yes, it is.
Is it possible to avoid confrontation all together in life? No, it’s not. Therefore, it’s necessary that we learn how to confront and in a healthy way. Then we can live fear-free of confronting people.
In this BOOTCAMP you will learn how to stand up, speak out, and use words of truth with kindness. I will teach you the fine art of confronting. Then you can walk away from confrontations without any regrets and hold your head high. Read more as to when and details…hurry, do not miss it!
Assess your confrontation capabilities.
- I know how to stand up for myself. _____
- I know how to keep my mind focused when a confrontation arises. _____
- I know how to actively listen. _____
- I know how to speak the truth with kindness. _____
- I know how to say, “No.” _____
- I know how to focus when others speak lies or go on the attack. _____
- I know how to address a controlling angry person. _____
- I know how to keep my body language under control during a confrontation. _____
- I know how to face the person and voice purposeful intentional words. _____
- I know how to walk away from a confrontation and be well, even if the other person does not agree with me. _____
What did this quiz reveal to you about your skill set of confronting?
What three skills or ways do you want to improve in with regards to a confrontation?
Let’s unpack a little more of your confrontation history…join me for the bootcamp! If not, what will your year look like? Contact Email Darlene! Hurry and sign up and you may win her latest book. Enable me, Lord, to Shift.