Here’s a slice of my story…
I was famished for connection. Truth be told for adult conversation. Yes, I was married but I lived in an emotional abusive marriage and was not invited into adult conversations.
Webster’s dictionary states, “Loneliness is cut off from others, not frequented by human beings, and produces a feeling of bleakness or desolation.” Whew, not frequented by human beings like a vacant soul.
Since no one conversed with me as an equal I shifted to what I could control in the home. I cleaned. I loved to have things in order so it was easy for me to whip through rooms, a whole house, a yard, and a list of organizational projects. After all, when there is a vacant relationship, one has time to invest in elsewhere. Yet my heart was craving some attention. And the projects got old, especially after years of doing. Plus the busyness camouflaged my heart. I longed to stop, drop, and really connect to the core heart issues of life. I was running out of steam and life was ticking on by. So I stopped with all the extra busyness!
I had been seeking out a man for many years to converse with, God Himself. We had many intimate conversations. I prayed and asked Him to fill me up way up— with His presence. He took up residency within me. And I believed I wasn’t alone. I had the Holy Spirit, Jesus Himself living within me. After all He says … but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.
that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you. (John 14:17 NASB)
Change up the bleakness, purposelessness, and invite the Holy Spirit to spread over and take over your empty feelings. God will fill the inner gnawing of connection, but we must allow Him access. Will you?
Read more in my upcoming Enable me, Lord, to shift books.
Learn more of my story, stay in touch, and how I can coach you