I asked a lady why she was so fearful to step through the doorway into a woman’s class. She said, “I have been hurt by women.”
Since then I have coached many women that have been hurt by their mom, their stepmom, their grandmother, an aunt, a sister, a long time ago female friendship, or you name one, maybe a colleague. Women are gun shy. Yet, many women still long to reconnect or connect with a like-minded female friend to talk and do life with.
What qualities do you look for in a friendship with a woman? (BTW, I hope you already have the qualities you want in a friend.) If not, then maybe this list will help you strengthen your backbone to love well, as you wait, seek, and look for a girlfriend.
Thank you to women that added to my list!
- Know what you want in a friendship
- Grow the friendship slow—I have stood on the sidelines and watched women suck up to each other way too fast, way too much, and way too soon. Then it blows up! (Women or men are not meant to fill us up or fuel us.)
- Genuine or sincere
- Loyal…no gossip
- Some humor
- Same values – God.
- She is for me—not jealous
- Mutual reciprocity in doing and asking
- Willing to take time to invest in a relationship and with Boundaries!
- Communicates well
- Does not assume “you will be her ALL”. She has a family, jobs, and responsibilities, so time is limited.
- LOVES well
- Good listener
- Be on the alert for chameleons. Watch for gaps in their story. They say one thing, but do another. And watch for blaming or excusing.
- You encourage each other’s spiritual growth.
- She allows you to be you.
- She allows you to have other friends.
- Peace is present.
Girlfriends are NOT to take the place of God.
And, you do not own your girlfriend.
They are a gift from God. Enjoy them! Love them! Surrender them! Embrace life with them or without them.
The BEST thing you can do for yourself as a woman is GROW up! I say that in love and in wholeness talk.
THIS LIST IS based on my knowledge and insight that I have learned over the last 45 years of my life. I have been involved with women all my life, with sisters as family members, then in my career as a teacher, involved in women ministries in my church, led and attended many Bible studies with women, coach training with women, and coaching women. I have heard women’s stories for many years but as a Life Coach the last ten years. I have heard expectations (realistic and unrealistic) of women friendships, the blessings, and the challenges.
Email Darlene@heartswithapurpose.com to be coached to have healthy girlfriend relationships.