What do emotional abuse and narcissism have in common?
Deathblows to an individual’s soul.
Stats say that one out of four or even as high as one of three women will experience abuse at some time in her life.
Author T.D. Jakes states in his latest book, Woman Thou Art Loosed, “ that recent statistics suggest that three in five young girls in this country have been or will be sexually assaulted.” (Page 16)
Emotional abuse a BIG DEAL!
Emotional abuse is an automatic tag along with sexual and physical abuse. If those two abuses touch a female, emotional abuse clings as well to the female. It’s a given. And if she does not get healing for the abuse, she carries the mess right into adult hood even if she is not having sex.
Let me teach you. I want to define emotional abuse from the book written by Dr. Gregory Jantz. “Emotional abuse is not normal. Emotional abuse is the consistent pattern of being treated unfairly and unjustly over a period of time, usually by the same person or people. It can also be a onetime traumatic event that is left unresolved. Emotional abuse is an intentional assault by one person on another to so distort the victim’s view of self that the victim allows the abuser to control him or her.” Page 12, Jantz, Gregory L., and Ann McMurray. Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse. Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 2009.
So this is what we know about emotional abuse according to Dr. Jantz definition:
It’s a consistent pattern of a person being treated unfairly and not kindly.
It’s done over a period of time.
It’s done by the same person or people.
It can also be a onetime traumatic event that was never dealt with.
The reason for the abuse is to distort the victim’s view of themselves, thus controlling them.
Bottom line, it skews the inward personhood of an individual. The victim believes that he/she is no good. Therefore, he/she has nothing, absolutely nothing to offer to anyone.
And here is a scene from my story:
I was steeped and seeped in emotional abuse for over twenty-five years. At this scene I was in my late 30’s is my guess. I was sorting through my High School box of goodies and came across my High School yearbooks. My High School teachers and friends had written comments to me in the pages of my four annuals. I was very involved in High School sports and was President of our Sr. class. When I stood in the storage room and read what people said about me back then. I thought they must have made a mistake and all lied about me. So I tore out the pages and pitched them.
In reality it was what had happened to me after I married a narcissist.
“Emotional abuse keeps you from understanding and envisioning the person you were created to be. “ page 17, Jantz, Gregory L., and Ann McMurray. Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse. Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 2009.
So where did I turn to get the truth of my identity?
How was I going to put my life on track in my early 40’s?
My Creator. Sustain-er. Deliverer. God!
He has a purpose for me. And for you TOO! For me it is to coach women stuck in toxicity to freedom to discover their life purpose.
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Contact me to be coached to freedom to discover your life purpose. Darlene@heartswithapurpose.com I love to hear from my readers.